May 2013
19 posts
Trust issues.
I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me to let people in. Maybe it’s the fear of getting hurt or maybe it’s the feeling that I’m better off alone. I’ve been by myself for quite a while now and the aspect of being close to another person scares me. I’m scared of getting emotionally attached and getting betrayed at the end. I’m scared of connecting with someone only to realize that they’re not the...
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Yes I know that you have bad days, but trust me I do too. So don’t expect me to smile back at you every time you decide to play nice because I’m just simply not in the mood. Is it really my fault to say “no” once in a while and just sulk for having a bad day? All I want is silence for my piece of mind and your attempt of getting everything your way just wears me down even...
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“Hi, you don’t know it yet but you’re actually my soul mate. So can you put your number in my phone please? Fate is waiting.”
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I think this is his twisted and honest of telling me he loves me. By yelling. By chastising me whenever he knows I’ve done something wrong or stupidly regretful. He never tells me it’s “okay.” Never sugarcoat what he tries to say because he knows that would get me no where. I have enough people telling me that it will get better. I have enough people telling me that “there will be better days” and...
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I'm terrified.
Of falling in love with someone and being so dependent on that person that if they leave, I’d end up with nothing but an empty shell of who I used to be. They say that in order to love, one must take risks and keep your heart open for another to walk in your life. And I know myself enough to know that though the walls I’ve built up all these years are hard to crack, when I’m in...
Let’s be strangers. Let’s not call each other by our names or call each other anything at all. Let’s stop pretending that we have anything else to fix, that we have anything left to go on. Because we both know the truth. That there’s nothing left— No substance, no meaning, no drive to recover what’s been gone between us. Everything’s lost and maybe...
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My problem: Great at fixing other people’s problems. Horrible at fixing my own.
Anonymous asked: What's you advice blog url again?
What we are to each other, I no longer have any ideas. Not friends. Not strangers. Not even an acquaintance because we’re stuck somewhere in the middle of nothing and everything; been through too much to say goodbye but have no reasons to say hello. Too damn complicated.
What if I was meant for you and you were meant for me? But we would never know because we’re both too scared to step up and say “Hi, how are you doing?” What if we were meant to be soul mates and our love was one in a million? But we would never know because there’s always something standing in the way of a simple wave “hello?” That right there, would suck.
Corny guys.
To me, are amazingly cute. I love how they can make me swoon with just a few cliche sounding sentences and I like that their words could brighten up any rainy day. With that said though, there is a very thin line between corny and creepy…Just know the limit and don’t cross it.
I tried to understand where you were coming from, tried to step into the soles of your shoes and see your perspective. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to make out the silhouettes and shadows that’s been haunting your dreams. You’d tell me you’re too scared of the dark to step into the light, that the shadows will always pull you back if you ever thought...
Perhaps It was the right decision When I decided to let you go On that cold winter night
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“I’m lonely. Why do you think I had to learn to act so independent? I also get...”
– Jodi Picoult
I know you spend most nights counting the mistakes you’ve made in your teenage years. I know that you just want to get away from this place, but when you’re out there trying to survive this life, all you really want is to be in your bed. Some of you don’t know where you’re going and some of you don’t know where you belong. You wear a smile on your face just to face other smiles- and if yours is...
It’s okay to cry if you want to, there’s no one stopping you. Cry to your heart’s content and let out all your frustrations. At the end, I’m sure you’ll feel much better if you do.
April 2013
38 posts
Don’t be accessible to anyone who makes you feel like you need to, or should, by any means and regardless of the measure, change, in any way, shape, or form.
Even if they are trying to change you for the better?
Even so.
Because we’ve all got this “As Is” sticker pasted on us, somewhere, whether it be easy to read at first or not. And in the process of getting to know someone, you will easily...
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Reading old posts and thinking about the people who the post was written about makes me want to hit them up and ask, “Hey, do you remember when…?”
The heart wants whatever it desires.
No matter how hard you try to fight the oncoming feelings, emotions won’t just instantly disappear. The more you fight and struggle, the harder it is to actually let go. Sometimes, you just need to disregard the brain and concentrate on your pounding heart.
What’s worse than being alone is feeling alone. You can be surrounded and loved by many people, but nothing will fill the emptiness. It’s worse because people see you everyday, some even look right into your eyes when they’re talking to you, standing just inches away from feeling your heart beat– yet no one seems to notice your pain. Everyone is near, but no one close enough. Even the smallest...
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I’m crying for someone I love because she’s hurting and I have no ways of reducing her pain. But at the same time, I am angry. I am angry because I know she knows better yet she continues to punish herself by doing stupid things that would only harm her even more at the end of the day. She tells me that she knows and that she will stop. But today, she hurt herself again because...
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Anonymous asked: Hey Nichole, i've been a follower of yours for quite awhile now. And to me, you are the most inspirational person i have ever met. It's not that you are hard to love. In fact, i have once thought of me as that as well. But really. It's just fate. Fate will take you to the RIGHT person. Don't rush things. Everyone will have that feeling of a sort some time in their lives. But...
Why must I be so hard to love?
I think I want a lover who would embrace me tightly every time he sees me cry. No questions. No comments. Not even one word. He would just pull me into his arms and rub my back soothingly until I fall asleep inside his arms. I’d feel protected. I’d feel loved. But I’d also feel thankful for having him by my side. A lover like that’s enough for me. He doesn’t need to...
It’s one of those nights when you’ve got no reasons to be sad yet your heart still feels heavy, pulled down by some unseen force, and your eyes glisten with unshed tears that doesn’t seem to go away. You’ve got a million thoughts racing through your head but none of them makes sense. One moment you’re missing someone then the next you’re asking yourself...
I have given up loving you for a long time now. I’ve withered away because our love had no life for me to hold on and live. The flower garden became a desert land and we had no hopes of reviving the beautiful things we used to have. Dead. Complete silence and what was once colorful became a hopeless gray. So don’t come
back and ask me if I still have any feelings left for you because...
Anonymous asked: What is your all time favourite quote?
Anonymous asked: If someone really loves you, they would wait right?
“Do not fall in love with people like me we will take you to museums and parks and monuments and kiss you in every beautiful place so that you can never go back to them without tasting us like blood in your mouth.”
Slow and beautiful~
It's always the quiet ones...
Who are sweet, genuine, and real (well most anyways). But a lot of people I know who doesn’t talk much seems to always be the realist people on earth. They don’t care about useless problems and most of the time they choose to live in their own world instead of reality. I don’t know, the quiet ones are just something special. Just because they don’t speak out loud does not mean they don’t have...
"Living life to the fullest."
Is not about doing the most crazy stunts nor is it about trying to experience every little thing the world have got to offer. No, living life to the fullest means doing what ever it is that makes you happy. It is to do the things that will put a smile on your face so that once you’re old, you can look back at your life and think “Wow, I lived a pretty damn good life.”
In the blink of an eye All that you thought you once knew Became nothing but a hallucination
I'm afraid that...
You’d love me more than I do and that you’d regret falling in love with an introvert like me. I don’t know how you fell so fast but compare to me, you’re like a Nascar while I’m a stroller in the park. What can I say? I like to take my time and discover every single little details that would make me fall. I can only hope that you’d have enough patience to stand and wait while I trot through this...
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I’ve seen it so many times. Actually experience it myself. When two people love each other desperately, wanting to be with each other so much that it hurts but couldn’t because it just wasn’t their time. So they break up, both wishing for something in the future, promising themselves that “if they were meant to be, they will be together again.” But I know for certain...
My Mother's Hands
How you have spun whole worlds for me between your fingers, cupped palms. How you fed me, clothed me, taught me the shape of trees and bodies and how to brush my hair without hurting myself, how I breathe only because you allowed me to grow in your womb. Thank you for the bed in your belly, mom. I am sorry for the pale white scar on your abdomen, for how I refused to let go, so they...
You were like the ocean to me. Promising, effortlessly inviting, glistening the most beautiful colors of the sun. I’ve been stuck, lately. I’ve been wrapped up, and locked down for quite a while until I ran into you. You waved me Hello’s with your gentle tides. I jumped into your open arms thinking that you can save me;
But I forgot that I don’t know how to swim.
Anonymous asked: (Pt 2)I have a boyfriend, I guess I know he doesn't care about looks b/c it's been a year, and we first met through facebook and we never saw each other before. No matter how many times he tells me I'm beautiful, I can't help but feel like a joke. People would say that I'm pretty, but I know they're saying that to be nice. I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. And...
Anonymous asked: (Part 1) Hi Nichole, I'd like to get something off my chest, if you don't mind.. Well, I feel as if I'm ugly. Honestly, I am. It's like engraved into my soul. Ugly. My nose is too small and pin straight but rounded tip. My jaw is too wide, my head is too big. My lips are big too. I feel so ugly. People say they wish they had this or that, like my jawline, but everything put...
I was supposed to forget about you. I was supposed to not live in the past and just let go. I was supposed to be stronger…I wasn’t supposed to cry. But yesterday, when I was cleaning out my room with my mom (because I rearranged everything), she found the little blue stripped box, sitting in a little corner of my room for months, that held all your christmas presents and opened it up,...
ventfullogic asked: Nichole who in your life puts you down or has put you down that makes you so insecure? Or is it just all girls feel that way because they're not perfect..I'm just wondering why someone as pretty as you feels like they're not enough.
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He’s cute. No, very attractive. He’s sweet, knows exactly what to say to a girl. But he’s a player. A well known player. And the naive part of me wants me to fall for him. But I already know that I can’t. Cause who else is he being so sweet to?
2 tags
I think it’s pretty damn beautiful to know that most people in this world will either fall in love or is already loving someone deeply with all their heart. Some people might already have lost that love, a tragedy in the midst of a broken heart, but someone else could be on their way to saying their first “I love you’s.”
I don’t know, I’m babbling, but I just...
We all have struggles, each taking its form as a rope tying us down. Some people do bad things because they are trying hard to break loose from those ropes. Instead of using our judgement as knives to stab them while they are vulnerable, we should use our hearts as scissors to help cut them free.
I think it was there
The chemistry
The attraction
The love
But it was the wrong time
To feel such strong feelings
So naturally the string snapped
We both hurt, I know so
But it feels as though
I was the one who was shattered
While you were mended back together
