Hi I'm Nichole. You won't like me.
Aspiring Photographer. Writer. Dreamer.
Follow Instagram: @Nichole_nn
“No matter what they wish for, no matter how far they go, people can never be anything but themselves. That's all.”
Wow, it’s been forever and a day since I’ve been on here. Too many things have happened and for some reason, now I can’t even find the words to try and describe the feelings in my head. I’m stuck in this writer’s block and I can only hope that it will go away soon.
There was a time when you were everything to me. With every breathe I took, you were there inside my head; taking over parts of my heart and lingering in every corner of my thoughts. To me you were the world. To me you were everything I could ask for. And I knew that I was the same for you. But that was then and now that you are no longer in my life, I’ve learned to ignore your lingering presence and moved on with my life. There was a time when you were everything to me, but now you’re only a ghost of my past.
If you like me for the way I look then that’s all you will ever get from me. Trust me when I tell you that I’m not the girl you think I am. I am more, I am less; but never the girl who you’ve constructed in your mind for she’s probably someone entirely different, someone nice, someone perfect, someone I wouldn’t ever dreamt of being.
When you say that you won’t change for someone you love; saying that “if they love me, they wouldn’t want me to change” and thinking that they need to “love me for who I am and respect me for the person I chose to be.” But that’s the thing. When you love someone, you’d want to change just to please them and make them happy. Maybe you’ll style your hair different, or try new things that you’d never think twice about: eating new food, listening to new genres of music, pretty much anything to put a smile on their face. Yes there’s a line between liking new things (which will tweak who you are a little) and behaving like someone you’re totally not, but there’s nothing wrong with changing some little details about yourself.
I wouldn’t even call it changing; I’d call it growing up. You get to learn new things about yourself while making new memories with someone you truly care about.
He told me I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. And I had told him, at the time, me too, me too, me too.
And I didn’t understand it, then. But I understand it now. But you will, he said. You will, again.
Because I’ve never met anyone as nice, as mean, as caring, as weird and as interesting as you. I’ve never met anyone with so many secrets and so much pain bottled up inside. And you’ll keep them and they’ll hold you because you find comfort in all of the sadness. You tell me it’s not my fault, and it’s probably not. But it’s not you. It almost makes you endearing, it makes me want to love you so much that you could feel it and never doubt it. But you will. And I got tired. I’ve never met anyone so weak and strong, I’ve neer met anyone so cold and I’ve never met anyone with a heart like yours. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you.